Empty Threats

I have been known to break a few parenting rules in the two years I have had the title. But, c'mon, we all have. Cookies before dinner, just this once. You want to watch tv all day, why not? Sometimes you just have to make it from wake-up to bedtime with everyone still breathing and it is hard. Lately, I have been issuing a LOT of empty threats.

If you don't stop throwing toys , I will put them in the garbage.
If you don't stop whining, I am going to put you in the bed.
If you hit your sister/the dog/me one more time, you will get a spanking.

I generally follow the above statements with a stern "Do you understand me?" Translation: You have about two seconds before Mt. St. Mommy explodes hundreds of gallons of pent-up lava on you and all your belongings.

These warnings have done little to phase stubborn Miss Finn and many days we are all near tears by the time Daddy gets home. I do know for a fact though that she hears me, because today, in her most authoritative voice, she told Chloe "Stop doing 'dat or I'll give a spanking, do you understand me?" After she said it, between my giggles, I asked her if she even knew what a spanking was, since she has never had one (well, not a real go to the principal's office and come back walking funny whoopin', but a few needed swats to the backside). She looked at me and sweetly said "yeesh, Mommy". So I asked her what it was and she replied even more sweetly "hit da bootie".

So, in that moment I realized my child is playing me, 100%, without a doubt. She understands the punishment, knows I won't actually do it which gives her free reign to act like a beast whenever she pleases. Supernanny, where are you?

Happy-go?

All who love Finn, know she is a genius, right? Smarter than the average kid, you bet! Even though I believe her to be smart, she still says things on a daily basis that I just don't get. Today she was running around saying "Happy-go" over and over. Then she said "We go fast, say happy-go". Lightbulb! She was saying "rapido". That kid loves Diego and most episodes feature at least one scene where he says, "We need to go fast, say rapido--ra-pee-doe". Crazy kid always makes me laugh.

To sleep, perchance to dream....

Jumping on the bed at 10:30 p.m. when she should be sleeping!




Crashed out in the recliner at Granna and Granddaddy's.


It has long been a running joke in our family that Chloe never sleeps. If she does close her eyes, even for a minute, putting her to bed isn't going to happen. Every noise, every exhale has to be done with caution as it may wake her. If she wakes all bets are off. Most nights I spend the few precious hours of "me" time trying to get her to stay asleep. Every single parenting book tells you the recommended amount of sleep babies need at each stage of development. Chloe has never followed those wise experts' advice and this tired Mommy is throwing in the towel. She wins.

Swimming at Alice's!

We have been swimming twice this week and Finn loved it. The first time she was pretty timid in the water and clung to me. Today, after a new swimming vest purchase, she was a fish. She jumped off the side of the pool countless times and even went underwater. Chloe also spent some time in the water and she kicked her legs as fast as she could. The heat doesn't allow for much time outside, but we will be going swimming again tomorrow.

Pics for Daddy!

Another Use For Insurance Cards.....

On Saturday, I was busy going in and out of the house trying to clean up after a yard sale. My Mom was there too and Finn was our shadow. So I grabbed a box and headed toward the door, turned the knob and LOCKED! I peered in the window and saw Finn's angelic face smiling at me. A cheerful "Hi Mommy!" and the panic set in. You see, Chloe was in their room asleep and my Mom was outside with me. Of three doors on our house, one and only one actually opens with a key, one doesn't open at all, and the third, well it is mainly for looks. So I realize I also have no phone with which to call for help. Oh and there is no key hidden outside, we had one that met its doom in a BBQ grill but that is a story for another time. I walk around the house trying to decide which window to break after I spent five minutes trying to get Finn to unlock the door. Even intelligent 2-yr-olds don't really get that concept. Then I spot my neighbor arriving home. Surely this man will know what to do. And he does. Right before I grab the biggest rock I could find, he pops the door open with a Blue Cross Blue Shield card. My hero!