Empty Threats

I have been known to break a few parenting rules in the two years I have had the title. But, c'mon, we all have. Cookies before dinner, just this once. You want to watch tv all day, why not? Sometimes you just have to make it from wake-up to bedtime with everyone still breathing and it is hard. Lately, I have been issuing a LOT of empty threats.

If you don't stop throwing toys , I will put them in the garbage.
If you don't stop whining, I am going to put you in the bed.
If you hit your sister/the dog/me one more time, you will get a spanking.

I generally follow the above statements with a stern "Do you understand me?" Translation: You have about two seconds before Mt. St. Mommy explodes hundreds of gallons of pent-up lava on you and all your belongings.

These warnings have done little to phase stubborn Miss Finn and many days we are all near tears by the time Daddy gets home. I do know for a fact though that she hears me, because today, in her most authoritative voice, she told Chloe "Stop doing 'dat or I'll give a spanking, do you understand me?" After she said it, between my giggles, I asked her if she even knew what a spanking was, since she has never had one (well, not a real go to the principal's office and come back walking funny whoopin', but a few needed swats to the backside). She looked at me and sweetly said "yeesh, Mommy". So I asked her what it was and she replied even more sweetly "hit da bootie".

So, in that moment I realized my child is playing me, 100%, without a doubt. She understands the punishment, knows I won't actually do it which gives her free reign to act like a beast whenever she pleases. Supernanny, where are you?